Eleven.

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Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if a certain thing hadn’t/had happened? I do, but thankfully not too frequently because if I did I would probably go crazy. Today marks 11 years since my life went in a completely unfamiliar direction (I’m sure you know my story by now so I won’t bore you!). I don’t know why but every year I feel compelled to write a blog post marking this tragic anniversary. However, this year I haven’t felt quite as low as I have in previous years – perhaps because it has just sprung upon me as I have had so much to think about lately. Last year I felt down in the dumps for about 2/3 weeks before the 7th May, but this year I just felt a little bit sad last weekend and for a brief moment yesterday until I snapped myself out of the self pity. As each year passes by quicker than the last I can’t believe I have spent so long in this situation, which makes me think that if I haven’t given up then nor should you. Despite the shit I have to deal with, despite the struggles and the yearning for the simple things in life I am not giving up, I try to remain as positive as I can and will do so for the rest of my life or at least I’ll try.

This year has felt a little bit strange because the 7th May has landed on a Saturday and last weekend was a bank holiday which was how it was 11 years ago. I remember exactly what I did as if it were yesterday. I have also felt extra protective over my younger sister, Eden, who will be turning 15 pretty soon. I was 15 when I had my accident and in the same school year as she is so I want to wrap her up in cotton wool. I just need to realise that after all the lectures she won’t make the same silly mistake of getting in a car like I did.

Being paralysed never gets any easier, theres always the same problems (even my night time routine is such a chore – I have to be turned every 2 1/2 hours so I never get a good nights sleep – I’m a zombie) but I am not one of these people who is simply existing in hopes of a cure. Don’t get me wrong a cure would be absolutely awesome and I would be the first to say ‘i’ll be a guinea pig’ BUT I don’t wake up everyday thinking about it because if it never happens I have wasted my life being so focused on my injury. However, being paralysed isn’t an injury you can escape or forget about.

Shit happens but its up to us how we deal with it. Just always remember YOU deserve an amazing life but the world doesn’t owe you anything so its down to you. Yes, somethings are out of our control and I definitely know this but keep pushing yourself as much as your can and you’ll shine.

Thank you for always supporting me. I appreciate each and every one of you. Today I’m having cocktails and a bbq whilst being surrounded by the people I love. Remember to be safe on the roads, you are so important to so many people.

Jordan xx

Previous years posts:

https://jordansbeautifullife.com/2015/05/05/10-years-mixed-emotions/

https://jordansbeautifullife.com/2014/05/07/7th-may/

 

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9 Comments

  1. May 7, 2016 / 6:09 pm

    I was 17 when I became a tetraplegic (c5/c6). Every anniversary is hard, but like you, I don’t focus on what might or might not happen with a cure. Oh, and if you haven’t tried an alternating air pressure mattress, look into it. I used to do the turning thing at night too, but I haven’t had to in years because of it.

    Thanks for putting such a beautiful face on SCI for the world to see.

  2. May 7, 2016 / 9:06 pm

    You are amazing! You are much like my nephew. His accident was 12 years ago last month – he was 17 at the time – his injury was between c5 and c6 I believe. I’m sure he’s had dark days, but he has never shared them. I remember watching you the first time – it was in a clip where you talked about learning how to put on make-up, and that’s where I saw you share the same amazing strength of wills. He’s a musician, after the accident he made his music electronically. His Indy band was amazing, but now they’ve all grown up, so music is his hobby – he produces mostly now as he finished his degree and works full time now. I am so inspired by your attitude, cheerfulness and spunk.
    This is my favorite video from his band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gYe4twqz2Q
    Keep following your passions!

  3. Louise
    May 9, 2016 / 4:10 pm

    Your doing amazing Jordan, I’ve been following you on social media and YouTube for about 3 years now! time does fly, It’s great to see you doing well, I hope you continue to do so in the future as well! congratulations on your new house , 🙂 hope the coming year brings loads of good opportunities for you. xx

  4. Louise
    May 9, 2016 / 4:12 pm

    xxx

  5. Jen
    May 9, 2016 / 8:07 pm

    Love your positive attitude. It’ll be 19 years in Feb 2017 since my accident and becoming quad. I miss things, life is hard but I’ve learned things that I never would’ve. So wouldn’t change it for a thing. 👍🏻

  6. May 10, 2016 / 5:10 pm

    Hi Jordan, I came across your blog when I was stuck at home after a knee operation. Love to read all of your inspiring news. And humbled by the way you deal with your daily struggles. Just pondering a big life change re my career and have been struggling to make a decision. Reading your comments : – “Shit happens but its up to us how we deal with it. Just always remember YOU deserve an amazing life but the world doesn’t owe you anything so its down to you. Yes, somethings are out of our control and I definitely know this but keep pushing yourself as much as your can and you’ll shine” has resonated with me. I think know what I need to do. Sending much love and hugs gorgeous, inspiring lady.

    PS love the makeup videos, I have hit the dreaded 40 and still have no clue about applying eye shadow , contouring and that on fleek brow ! – Maybe you could teach me some time 🙂

    PPS did I just admit that – hopefully I don’t look it, and I am plotting the next pair of killer heel purchase. Thanks again you are a ray of sunshine and yes it radiates and shines.

    Kind regards

    Natalie

  7. Lisa Dixon
    May 14, 2016 / 1:31 pm

    Jordan, I cannot begin to imagine the daily struggles you face, I see you in your videos, I see you in your snapchats, I read what you share on Twitter and I see your Instagram posts. I see that you are beautiful, I see that you are strong, I see that you are inspiring. If your message reaches just one person, know that you have helped, know what you have achieved. Stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you. Much love to you xx

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