10 Years…Mixed Emotions

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It only felt like yesterday that I wrote my last 7th May post but its approaching that day again and I want to write down how I’m feeling. The 7th May 2015 marks 10 years since the car accident which changed my life forever. I won’t go into much detail about all of that as I wrote about it last year but I will leave a link to that blog post at the end of this one.

As each year goes by I often wonder how different my life would have been if I hadn’t broken my neck. This time of year I feel slightly somber like I am grieving a past life which I often visualise in my memory. However, I could also wonder how life would be for my family if I hadn’t survived that day – there could’ve been a worse outcome than what happened. Although I am paralysed, I was also given another chance at life even if it may be different. I love life, I wish I could explore more than I do but I guess a lot of us feel that way paralysed or not.

Being paralysed is hard no matter how positive you may be. Sometimes its good to be real and understand that these low emotions are all part of being human. Writing this with a few tears in my eyes is ok because i’m letting the frustration out so I can enjoy the rest of my day…well evening now! Generally, I am a positive person, but like I said before, this time of year just makes me remember the past. As each year passes I wonder if it will get harder because I am slowly slipping away from that 15 year old girl who could’ve had the world at her feet…instead her decision to get in that car paralysed those feet,legs,stomach and fingers.

10 years have gone by, 10 whole years. Its crazy how fast time goes…

To those who are newly injured or just feeling low remember how precious your life is. I know this blog post isn’t the most positive but I think its important for you to know that I’m not cheery all the time. Although, you maybe going through a hard time remember that even though things may have changed you can still create a wonderful life, just perhaps a different one to what you thought of before. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with people who truly care, don’t let your struggle stop you from enjoying life. Please strive to have an amazing life. Sometimes it maybe easier to say ‘Ah, fuck it!’ because you can’t be bothered with all the hassle it is to do something but know you DESERVE it so don’t be lazy!

Despite all that has happened and my negative emotions right now I have actually achieved quite a lot the past few years from raising awareness about road safety, to talking about body confidence with Lorraine Kelly to speaking on stage with Katie Piper about positivity, beauty, fashion and confidence.

Remember we each have a choice about how we react to a situation. I am trying to make a negative situation into a more positive life by trying to inspire others to have the best life possible.

Putting aside the negative start to this blog post I am actually quite proud of the woman I have become. Therefore, I need to STOP with the ‘what ifs’ and just live this bloody amazing life I am blessed with keeping. I may have had 2 lives already but maybe someday they’ll be a 3rd where I gain all my independence back (#CureParalysis) but until then I’m going to give the life I’m in now a good shot. Bring on another 10 years no matter what it may bring!

Sorry if this blog post was all over the place I just went with the flow and wrote what my heart desired. Thank you for all of your support, you guys really make me smile xo

Read last years blog post HERE

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15 Comments

  1. May 5, 2015 / 8:20 pm

    What a sad, but inspiring story. This video really helped me see how important it is to be safe and focus when you’re driving. I’m approaching 15 years old, going to be driving next year, and to hear your story really helped. Thank you for sharing the post, and the video. I love that you are making a difference in safety for young drivers with your experience outcome. It’s inspiring to see that you are a beautiful, confident woman who didn’t let this horrible accident control and lead your life. By the way, I really love your makeup, you look flat-out gorgeous! 😀
    Ava
    makeupcrazy1.wordpress.com

  2. May 5, 2015 / 8:36 pm

    Love you and your story, you’ve grown to become a beautiful young woman xxx

  3. May 5, 2015 / 8:56 pm

    You are an inspiration and an incredibly strong woman, keep your spirits high 🙂

    Helen X

  4. Kerry Shippey
    May 6, 2015 / 7:54 am

    We each live with hand we have been dealt….Jordan I have seen and heard you first hand, live yours with dignity grace and pride. Other people are richer for being touched by you and what you have to say is relevant and important to many. I understand you grieving for the person you lost but we can all celebrate the young woman you have become xxx

  5. May 6, 2015 / 2:30 pm

    We know you when we see you out ,we don’t see your disabilities Jordan only a beautiful person who can make a difference and inspire us all.
    Annie x

  6. May 6, 2015 / 4:25 pm

    I first found out about your blog on a facebook bloggers chatroom and I was so inspired by your positive nature and your sad story. I think you’ve done amazingly and will continue to inspire many people and help them to have a safer and happier life. well done 🙂 xx

  7. laurawellington18
    May 8, 2015 / 12:09 pm

    You are an inspiration, so honest and realistic. xxx

  8. thegirlinthetartanscarf
    May 20, 2015 / 6:33 pm

    You are such an inspiration Jordan, love how you are sharing your experience with others and completely turning a situation around to a positive. Can’t wait to see what the years to come have instore for you, I think it’ll be many great things <3 xx

  9. Anna Greece
    May 31, 2015 / 9:34 am

    Words can’t even describe how touching your story is. You are a fighter and I am sure you make your family proud every day. Love yourself because there is no reason anyone shouldn’t love you!

  10. annette
    June 1, 2015 / 4:37 pm

    Have you heard of joni Eereckson tada? She’s blonde and beautiful like you, worth a Google 🙂

  11. Mel
    June 10, 2015 / 5:55 am

    Hi Jordan, I was scrolling through insta jumping from page to page and I found yours. I eventually noticed you were in a wheel chair. I recently had a baby and had complications with my epidural that gave me a progressive and painful disease called arachnoiditis. Most people with this disease one day end up paralyzed. I was feeling really down today, crying a lot. I’m only 23 and feel like life is over. I came across your page and saw how you are making the best out of your life even through your injury. I will continue to follow you. I hope one day I can be like you, full of positivity and love. You are beautiful inside and out, such an inspiration to people like me. Thank you!

    • June 15, 2015 / 2:22 pm

      Hi Melissa, I’m so sorry about your situation. Your life certainly isn’t over – believe me! Xx

  12. M
    September 14, 2015 / 3:11 pm

    Hi Jordan,
    Thanks for writing so inspiringly and beautifully. Your words, your videos, especially on your beautiful struggle touch me deeply. Not only it is truly heartwarming to see your beautiful evolution, it is my own personal inspiration, more than words I could possibly say. You help me to embrace my wheelchair life after cancer took my pelvic bone. Watching your video was my turning point to finally be at peace with myself and just as you said, to explore my options and see past my limitations and to see myself past my wheelchair. Thank you so much for this precious gift, to remind me to be thankful, to live my second chance sincerely, to the fullest.
    My very best wishes and warmest hugs to you..

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