It only felt like yesterday that I wrote my last 7th May post but its approaching that day again and I want to write down how I’m feeling. The 7th May 2015 marks 10 years since the car accident which changed my life forever. I won’t go into much detail about all of that as I wrote about it last year but I will leave a link to that blog post at the end of this one.
As each year goes by I often wonder how different my life would have been if I hadn’t broken my neck. This time of year I feel slightly somber like I am grieving a past life which I often visualise in my memory. However, I could also wonder how life would be for my family if I hadn’t survived that day – there could’ve been a worse outcome than what happened. Although I am paralysed, I was also given another chance at life even if it may be different. I love life, I wish I could explore more than I do but I guess a lot of us feel that way paralysed or not.
Being paralysed is hard no matter how positive you may be. Sometimes its good to be real and understand that these low emotions are all part of being human. Writing this with a few tears in my eyes is ok because i’m letting the frustration out so I can enjoy the rest of my day…well evening now! Generally, I am a positive person, but like I said before, this time of year just makes me remember the past. As each year passes I wonder if it will get harder because I am slowly slipping away from that 15 year old girl who could’ve had the world at her feet…instead her decision to get in that car paralysed those feet,legs,stomach and fingers.
10 years have gone by, 10 whole years. Its crazy how fast time goes…
To those who are newly injured or just feeling low remember how precious your life is. I know this blog post isn’t the most positive but I think its important for you to know that I’m not cheery all the time. Although, you maybe going through a hard time remember that even though things may have changed you can still create a wonderful life, just perhaps a different one to what you thought of before. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with people who truly care, don’t let your struggle stop you from enjoying life. Please strive to have an amazing life. Sometimes it maybe easier to say ‘Ah, fuck it!’ because you can’t be bothered with all the hassle it is to do something but know you DESERVE it so don’t be lazy!
Despite all that has happened and my negative emotions right now I have actually achieved quite a lot the past few years from raising awareness about road safety, to talking about body confidence with Lorraine Kelly to speaking on stage with Katie Piper about positivity, beauty, fashion and confidence.
Remember we each have a choice about how we react to a situation. I am trying to make a negative situation into a more positive life by trying to inspire others to have the best life possible.
Putting aside the negative start to this blog post I am actually quite proud of the woman I have become. Therefore, I need to STOP with the ‘what ifs’ and just live this bloody amazing life I am blessed with keeping. I may have had 2 lives already but maybe someday they’ll be a 3rd where I gain all my independence back (#CureParalysis) but until then I’m going to give the life I’m in now a good shot. Bring on another 10 years no matter what it may bring!
Sorry if this blog post was all over the place I just went with the flow and wrote what my heart desired. Thank you for all of your support, you guys really make me smile xo
Read last years blog post HERE